Perhaps...
by KaterinaElise
Summary: Ginny looks back on something in her past... thinking about her future. *R for sexual content... maybe more later.*


Perhaps...  
  
By Katerina*Elise  
  
  
~*****~  
  
A/N- Ok, ya'll, i know that i need to be working on my other  
fics, but this plot bunny just hit me and i couldn't help but  
write it!!! Sorry, sorry... oh well, i hope you enjoy, if you  
like it, i may continue it!!! oh, and kudos to my betas,   
MountainDewChika (luff ya, great uncle!!!) and MAVBRANDY (my   
online mum)! Ciao!  
  
~*****~  
  
'Perhaps it's just that everything here has a point and a purpose,   
but there are so many days that I just feel like no one needs me.   
The only time I've ever truly felt needed was when *he* was with me.   
Or was I with *him*? *He* made me feel like I was important. Like   
I had a reason to be there, to be somewhere, other than that I had   
a hopeless crush. Hopeless, yes, I am fully aware of just how   
hopeless my crush on Harry Potter was. It's a good thing I gave up   
my crush on him right before *we* happened. Well, I don't know if   
you can even call us a *we*, it's just that *he* knows more about   
me than anyone. Probably more than even I know about myself.  
  
'The only thing that *he* doesn't know is how much I care about   
*him*. I wish there was a way that I could really get *him* to   
notice me. To care about me. To love me.'  
  
Ginny Weasley put down her newest journal. The cover was glossy   
and new and the pages, though half-filled with her innermost   
thoughts, were still crisp and clean. She went through about ten of   
them a month. Hermione Granger, one of her dearest friends, after   
seeing how quickly she filled the pages, had gotten her a box that   
never emptied itself of the small, blank books.   
  
She sighed and put her head down on the table in front of her. The   
library was quiet and soothing to her. This was her favorite place.   
This was where she used to write to *him*. Before they took *him*   
away from her.   
  
Anger flooded her mind as she remembered how her father had burned   
the small, leather-bound book after it all had happened. She had   
been in shock after the whole incident. She cried miserably, holding   
on to her mother for dear life. The echo of *his* screams still rang   
deep in her ears. The pain that Harry had caused *him* in that short   
time was the most horrible thing she could think of. She couldn't   
look at him for months without going red with the pent-up rage.   
  
Everyone thought that it was because she was in love with Harry. She   
almost laughed. Her. In love with Harry Potter. Who had caused her   
so much pain and grief. Hardly enough to enough to base feeling on.   
  
she thought, She'd   
discovered that quickly during their time together. Even when she   
thought that she was going to die, *he* treated her with intense   
kindness. But at the same time, he hated her. She had been born   
after *his* time, and was free to make her own decisions about a lot   
of things. *He* had been pressured into a lot. The time that *he*   
had spent at the orphanage had changed *him*. It had made him bitter,   
hardhearted. *He* hated that Ginny had been able to change *his*   
feelings about life.   
  
Their first time together had been her first at all, and *he* knew it.   
Even so, it was rough and hard. Surprisingly, Ginny had loved it.   
Not even half-an-hour later, Ginny wanted it again. This was rougher,   
carnal. *He* screamed *his* release, pouring into her as she did the   
same, moaning *his* name. *His* _real_ name.  
  
I remember he was so confused she thought, smiling. *He* couldn't   
believe that she had enjoyed it as much as she had. And still she   
wanted more. And *he* was only too happy to oblige. Everything they   
did had fire and passion to it. They did everything, the times in-  
between couldn't have been more than 15 minutes at a time.   
  
She couldn't believe the intense pleasure that *he* gave her, the   
longing that she still felt even seconds after they had both reached   
climax.   
  
The longing was worse now. A tear leaked out of the corner of her   
eye and she rebuked herself. she thought.  
  
I wouldn't care, she thought as the tears came freely now.   
  
She screamed in her head, in her heart.   
  
~*****~  
  
TBC... Perhaps... 


End file.
